chronicle #21 voyage to the dark and back

April 26, 2014 § Leave a comment

Haven’t been writing on this blog for a while now. About 9 months to be specific. 9 months of pregnancy, so it seems. I haven’t been literally pregnant of course, but there has been a sort of gestation for these past 9 months. I haven’t been madly in love, I have been madly suffering. I have been unable to fall in love again ever since, although I’ve been trying hard to do so. However today, smiling has become possible again. I have been struggling against my fears. I have been reading poetry, writing, smiling, making projects again. I have been trying to overcome these anxieties preventing me from sleeping at night. I have been smoking a lot. I’m still smoking a lot despite the illness in my lungs. I can’t breathe properly anymore, and I’m turning 25 in a couple of weeks.

What is life? What is love? I have started a psychoanalysis. I’m constantly voyaging to the dark, and back.

So after 9 months, I’m trying to be brave and start sharing again. What I wish to share now is a Danish band I discovered when feeling deeply down. Down, down into darkness and fears. I was wondering if someone would come and save me. Nobody came. Nobody came but myself. I was seeing my own hand reaching for me and the darkest of my fears. So, I guess – I grabbed it.

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